My 14 year old daughter has become friends with a girl who has all kinds of issues.?

We really dont want her hanging with her but its a delicate situation. She comes from a broken home with an emotionally explosive relationship with her mother and a father who is a ex-con and druggy. This poor girl suffers from Bi-polar. There has been a couple of times when she was at our home that she had some out bursts of foul language. We have told her to watch her mouth and she says she is sorry. The problem is I feel that our daughter might pick up her habits or get too involved in this girls emotional problems. How do we break the relationship? I'm worried that if we do this the friend might react badly. I dont want to hurt this girl, because she has a been hurt enough in life, but then again I dont want my daughter being hurt either. I have tried being a positive influence on this girl but I have no experience dealing with a child with this condition. I dont want her to feel abandoned but then again I cant take a chance with my own daughter. HELP!!My 14 year old daughter has become friends with a girl who has all kinds of issues.?
Well have you thought that maybe your daughter could be such a good influence on her that it helps her to straighten her life out? Talk to your daughter and let her know your concerns and then see how things go from there. but have more faith in your daughter. Maybe she feels real concernin for this person and really wants to help her.My 14 year old daughter has become friends with a girl who has all kinds of issues.?
Your first responsibilty is to your daughter. The fact that you have tried to tolerate the situation does speak volumes for you tho'. If your daughter is also of the same mind (wanting to break off the friendship) then you may want to try being unavailable. Eventually, she'll get the hint.
dont give up
Oh, wow! Tough question. There is lots of choices... you should probably talk to your daughter first.See how she feels about the situation. Let her tell you why she wants to hang out with her. The girl has too many problems and might cause trouble. What I would do is make a little family time with her, and take her to places lke the mall, places where she would like to go.Then, she won't have the time to play with her.When you taken her to many places... just tell her that you do not want your daughter to be like her... saying foul language.Because you love her. She would probably understand that you have worries about her.The girl... just apologise to her...
Don't make your daughter stop being friends with her. Just talk to her and try to make her understand that that language is unacceptable to you,( and any other mis-behavior), and you will not tolerate it! My son had a friend with similar issues, and that is what we did. Eventually we moved, and they have lost contact with each other. I understand you don't want to take a chance with your daughter, but maybe her being with this girl will be a positive influence on her. If it gets to be crazy stuff(like she's doing stuff that illegal) then make her stop. Maybe you can also be a positive influence in her life. She obviously needs one! Do you know if she is on meds for the bi-polar? Good luck, and God bless!
That is really sad..one suggestion is maybe you can talk to a counselor and see what he suggests. You can also talk to your daughter and let her know how you feel about this..It is obvious you raised a wonderful girl who is soft hearted and doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings..This is a really tough situation and I really feel for the friend I would talk to a counselor that would be my best thing..That way no body gets hurt..especially the friend..Good Luck and God Bless
unfortunately for the girl, i'd say your daughter is #1. that is, if your daughter's seriously in danger because of this girl (like going to parties with older guys and risking rape or drinking or whatever), you have to protect your daughter.



i had a girlfriend like this when i was younger, and i never understood why my mom didn't let me hang out with her all the time. she didn't allow me to sleep over at her house but i could do daytime things with her like shopping, etc. and sleepover parties with other friends with trusted families. i have to admit i did get in a tiny bit of trouble with her when i was in highschool, but i think it would have happened anyway as i was so restless, and all in all i was strong enough to resist MUCH of her influence. so make sure your daughter has strong enough morals instilled in her to know not to drink/do drugs or do things with guys at a young age- because that is what my friend did. i refused and stood on the sidelines.



i think it's awesome that you are thinking of this girl's well being, and i think it would be a good influence for her if you guys had her over lots and when she has foul outbursts/does other things you still call her on it. i think she needs a 2nd type of loving family, so try your best to be there for her. make sure you talk to your daughter about choices she decides to make for herself, though. talk to your daughter about everything-because the things that my mom was open with me about i began to think that she wasn't trying to take away my fun, but protect me from making unreversable choices. this helped me a lot in maintaining my self respect while my friends had sex with eachother, robbed, drank and did ecstacy all around me in highschool.



good luck and god bless
Talk to your daughter and make sure she understands that her friend needs help bigger then the both of you can provide. Explain to your daughter what you have just said even though she is young she can understand. Don't yell it at her or ban her from seeing the other girl because that will do the exact opposite of what you are trying to accomplish. Why should the girl not have friends everyone come into our lives for a reason. Warn her about the foul language and tell her it wont be tolerated in your house and that if she does it again she wont be allowed over anymore. Remember she is volatile and if she is attached to you all she make take it very hard. Bipolar people are hard to deal with because you have to use kid gloves with them. Bipolar is not contagious and your daughter will not catch it from being around this other girl and let your daughter know that too. You wont tolerate your child acting like her find her friend is sick she is not there's no excuse, but more than likely they became friends and your daughter knew the girl had a foul mouth so she probably has one to not around you but at school around her friends. You'd be surprised at the amount of colorful language on the playground.
dont give up on her if your daughter is going to pick it up it wont be the other girl it would be her own fault maybe this girl is crying out for help from you guys. have some patients and dont give up the other probally dont have many friends
I feel like I may unfairly taking the moral high ground by saying this, but given the number of problems the girl has, trying to take her friends away doesn't seem like a particularly good thing to do. I understand your concerns, and you are probably right in thinking that this girl will have a bad influence on your daughter, but you need to consider as well that your daughter will probably have a good influence on her.

It's a tricky situation, if nothing else because of the general nature and temperement of 14 year old girls. If your daughter is anything like my sister was at the age of 14, trying to stop her being friends with someone is probably going to be a futile and frustrating experience. Your daughter is most likely not going to respond well to your interference in what she considers to be (with a fair degree of validity) her life, the best you could probably achieve is to stop the girl visiting your house while at the same time alienating your own daughter. At least the way things are now, you have some degree of oversight about what's going on.

To be honest, I think the way you've been handling it now is the correct way; you are being accepting and tolerant, but also laying down ground rules and trying to positively influence the friend. From what little I know about bi-polar disorder, the mood swings and irrational behaviour are to be expected and your most valuable tool in dealing with them is patience.

I guess what I've said isn't that helpful, all I can really add is that the girls you're dealing with are both human beings with their own agendas and feelings, you need to respect that and try and force them to respect the fact that you are exactly the same...